I Was Gamed by a Two-Year-Old

October 9, 2017

Tonight at supper time the usual calls for dessert began in earnest as

usual. We don’t do dessert every night, but that isn’t because the kids don’t ask.


It had been a while since we had dessert so I told the kids they could have dessert tonight if they ate their supper well. The definition of “well” varies from kid to kid depending on their age. I don’t expect the two-year-old Demolitions Expert to eat as much as the six-year-old Zoologist. I just expect every kid to get a well-rounded, balanced meal, or at the very least to put more food in their mouth than on the floor.


Tonight the Zoologist and the four-year-old Ballerina made quick work of their meals and moved on to their dessert. (The Ballerina had an aversion to the cup I gave her juice in, but that is a different story). The Demolitions Expert apparently did not like the pigs in a blanket. I deduced this because she kept putting the little sausages in her mouth, chewing them for a while, spitting them out, and saying, “I don’ like it.” My powers of deductive reasoning are unparalleled.


I told her that before I would give her dessert she had to take a bite of a sausage. Surprisingly, she immediately picked one up and took a bite. Compliant isn’t usually the Demo Expert’s usual mode of operation, but after a quickly thinking, “I wonder what is up with that?” I moved on to getting her dessert. The thing with four kids is you just don’t have the time to ponder and puzzle out strange behavior. If someone isn’t actively burning down the house you generally have more pressing matters to attend to.


I got her some dessert and put it down on her plate. She looked up at me, said “Tank You,” took the bite of sausage out of her mouth, and began inhaling her dessert. I started to say something, but I remembered that technically I said, “Take a bite,” I didn’t specifically articulate that she had to swallow the bite. Score one for the Demolitions Expert. For neither the first nor the last time, I was gamed by a two-year-old.


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