10 Names Better than Olympic Athletes from Russia

February 13, 2018

At the Sharp house we are in full-blown Olympic addiction mode. I love the Olympics, my wife loves the Olympics, and are kids are required to love the Olympics. It's just a fun two weeks watching events that, especially in winter, we don't normally watch.

 

 

If you've watched any of this year's Olympics you probably know that the Russian government systematically cheated in the last two Olympics and were punished for it. There has been a lot written about their cheating, but by far this was the best paragraph I read:

 

A previous report had already documented how during the Sochi Games, Russian athletes had their urine samples snuck out of labs through “mouse holes,” opened up using a technique that allows the seal to stay intact, replaced with clean urine, and then placed back in the lab. The report claimed that the process was overseen by Russian secret service agents disguised as sewer engineers. (1)

 

There is so much going on in that paragraph that would make a great TV miniseries, but I'm sure we won't get it. Anyway, the Russians cheated, and it was so bad, that the International Olympic Committee cracked down on them. Getting in trouble by the IOC has to be like being lectured about dishonesty by Pinocchio.  Still, the Russians were disciplined, and as a result their athletes are not allowed to be referred to as Russian, they have to be called "Olympic Athletes from Russia." At this point, the only people that seem to be affected by this are the announcers who seem to be having trouble getting that mouthful out, especially on fast-moving events. 

 

Sadly, all of this could have been avoided. There were so many better options that "Olympic Athletes from Russia." Here are my top ten options that would have been better than what they went with.

 

  1. The Fighting Putins

  2. The Like We are the Only Ones Who Cheated Country

  3. The Country Formerly Known as the USSR

  4. The Hackers

  5. The Ivan Dragos

  6. The Red Octobers

  7. The Nesting Dolls

  8. The Harvey Wallbangers

  9. The Notorious KGBs

  10. The Moscow Bears

Tell me those wouldn't have been better than what they chose.

 

 

(1) https://www.vox.com/world/2018/2/9/16995270/oar-olympics-russia-country-doping

 

 

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